Goddess Bless
by subliminal shady
Summary: Clara Goodwin was the greatest Dog ever to walk the streets of Corus, the folk say. Her partner Tunstall and her scared every Rat to the Black God's realms. After the events at Port Caynn, Goodwin takes the job of Desk Sergeant. Can she cope with being out of the action, and can Tunstall cope with being at watch without her? After Bloodhound, new plot.
1. Chapter 1

_**Goodwin**_

Maybe it'll get easier. Maybe I won't want to cry every day. Maybe I won't cry when the Dogs have mustered. Maybe Tunstall will get over losing me as a partner. Then again, it doesn't seem like time will heal these wounds, these sarden scars that I have.

When I call for muster, I see Tunstall gazing at me with those sad, weary eyes and I feel like screaming at someone. I didn't ask to get weaker. I didn't ask to get tired of a street Dog's work. Beside Tunstall, there's Cooper. She stands there, a lonely Dog beside another. The black that we Dogs wear is not meant to look mournful. But on my former partners, it does.

"You know what to do," I call out. "Get going t'your watch." I look on as Evening Watch walks out to the streets. I look down, feeling like a shadow of my strong self. I feel someone's eyes on me. I look up from my desk and see a very tall cove with close-cropped brown-gray hair staring at me. Tunstall. He stares at me even more. I feel like jumping up from my desk, snatching my baton, and shouting, "I don't want to be Desk Sergeant, I want to be on the streets, wait for me!"

But I'm no longer an overexcited little gixie who dreamed of being the greatest Dog ever to walk the streets of Corus. Now I'm only an older Dog, sitting forlornly at the desk, wanting to be out there breaking heads.


	2. My Clary

_**Tunstall**_

Me and Cooper muster out. I can't help but glance at Clary. She looks like she's about to leap out of her seat and run to catch up with us. She also looks sad. I can't stand seeing my Clary sad.

We walk for a wee bit before Cooper realizes this isn't our usual route.

"Tunstall?" she asks. "Don't you want to go to the Nightmarket to get some food?" Memories flash past me so fast it makes my head hurt. Mayhap it'll always be this way. But all I can see is memories. The awkward first days as partners when we both became Dogs, the times I dragged Clary to Mistress Noll's stand, the day we got Cooper. And most of all, the day I saw Clary for the first time. Much shorter than me. Shoulder-length hair cut in layers. Piercing eyes, determined look on her face. I saw her and swore that I would never leave her side, never let harm come to her.

No, I didn't leave her. She left me.

"No," I say so sharply Cooper winces and fumbles her baton. "Come on, Cooper. We're not going that way anymore."

I vowed, Mithros and the other Great Gods witness it, that I'd never leave my Clary.

She left me.

I'm walking through quicksand. That's how it feels, trudging through the Cesspool. Normally this is where I feel alive most. Not now.

Going back to the Jane Street kennel at the end of watch, we pass a clean, tidy white cottage. The smell of dinner drifts out the windows. Someone is whistling cheerfully inside. The whistler must be Clary's man, Tomlan. I think of Clary, sitting inside the kennel, thinking of her man. Right now, looking at Clary's cozy little house, I freeze up, holding my baton in clenched hands.

"Tunstall?" asks Cooper. "What's wrong? Do you see a pickpocket?" No, not that. Much worse than that. I feel my throat tighten uncomfortably. Gods curse it, I'm about to cry. I can't let Cooper see me bawling over my old partner. So I take off to the kennel at top speed, running. I hear Cooper calling after me, but I don't care.

All I care about right now is my Clary.


	3. Kill Some Rats For Me (The End)

**_Goodwin_**

I know that I'm in for it when Mattes runs into the kennel crying his poor eyes out. I stand up. I know exactly why he's here. I've memorized the way his cracknobbed head works. Opening the door to my private office, I drag the looby inside and shut the door again.

"Mattes?" I ask him. "Are you all right, barbarian?" He starts sobbing even louder at my name for him. "No, shush. Unless you've a mind to have the whole of Corus wondering if mayhap the Stormwings returned." His crying quiets some. He looks down at me with his sad, tired eyes.

"It's because of me, isn't it," I say. It's no question, and we both know it. "Because I quit street work." He nods. I feel one of his tears drop on top of my head. "Oh, Mattes." Now I feel close to tears.

"Don't you hate this?" he asks, roughly wiping his eyes. "Sitting here? Out of the action?" I nearly say I do. But then it all comes back to me, Goddess curse it.

The sewers. The Rats. The exhaustion. How I prayed to the Goddess to let me die I was in so much pain.

"I..." I swallow, trying not to sound like a mumper insisting they never pickpocketed anyone. "I don't."

The look on Mattes's face makes me mayhap want to cry. "I saw you when we mustered out," he says pointlessly. "You wanted to go, admit it, Clary." That's when it hits me. He misses me just as much as I miss him. This isn't because he feels sorry for me. He misses me.

"Gods, Mattes," I say. "You might've said this before." Unexpectedly, he wraps me up in a hug. Normally I'd feel really short because he's so tall. Right now, I feel like I'm the perfect height. In fact, my height doesn't matter to me anymore. All I feel is Mattes's warm skin on mine. One of his hands stroking my hair. The tears sliding down my cheeks. And right then, I almost can hear it. I almost can hear him say it. Then he says it agian.

"I love you, Clary."

And then I'm really crying, He's holding me. I can feel myself trembling, thinking of all those nights we watched the Lower City together. Thinking of how hard it's going to be not to cry like this all the time.

Someone taps on the door. In the peephole cut in it, I see Cooper. Goodwin? she mouthes. Tunstall hears her tapping. He ruffles my hair one last time, rubs my back, and lets me go. I wipe my face, not wanting Cooper to see me.

"Kill some Rats for me." I tell Mattes. He looks at me, a trace of a smile returning.

"Goddess bless, Clary. Goddess bless."


End file.
